The Power of The Feminine

The Aniweda Dream is a dream I had that opened me up to new possibilities and new powers within myself.  It was something that I knew was brewing somewhere deep inside and a for a brief period of my life I lived it.  When it was over I knew it was something I had to write about and keep connected with and so this blog was born.

I’ve been absent from writing on this blog for the better part of 3 years I’d say, because I’ve been out there trying to integrate this experience into my current life and I was too close to it.  Then something came over me..a desperation to solve my major issues and I joined The Pleasure Tribe last year following The Red Tent Revival.

The Red Tent Revival is happening again right now and I have seen how freaking crazy far I’ve come and it’s amazing.  Here the top things I have learned from Red Tent Revivals and The Pleasure Tribe.

  • How to say no.  I’ve always been a people pleaser, but learning to say no is something I knew I needed, but didn’t know how to make this decision, now I know.
  • How to heal from sexual trauma.  This is the main reason I joined the Pleasure Tribe, being raped pushed me back 50 paces or 10 years in the past.  I had a lot to heal and I knew it was affecting all my relationships.
  • How to pick romantic partners and feel empowered in dating.  This goes back to the last point.  I thought I should be dating.  I had a feeling there was something I wanted from these experiences but I didn’t know what and so I felt lost, confused, frustrated and indecisive about it.  Now I don’t.
  • How to listen deeper to my intuition and trust it.  I’ve always been a deeply intuitive person, but I don’t always follow my intuition.  As a matter of fact I have defied my intuition many times and went through unnecessary chaos because of it.  Essentially the reason this part of me improved was the community of women in the Pleasure Tribe.  I was already very experienced in intuitive growth but being validated changed it all for me.
  • How to enjoy my body more.  Just yes.   Body image, better sleep, feeling good while walking, dancing, etc.
  • How to understand and forgive myself.  Like I said I’ve made lots of mistakes, usually knowing that I was doing so, simply ignoring my intuition.  Now I have a deeper understanding of how my mind and hormones work and I feel good about all the painful moments of my life now.
  • How to know the difference between a safe and dangerous man.  This is so important.  A dangerous person can ruin your life and it can be very hard to dig yourself out of that whole.  I’m confident that I can see the difference now and that makes me feel okay with myself out in the world, rather than hiding and avoiding all men.
  • How to heal my relationships in my family.  This is huge, but I learned a lot about men and women, masculinity and femininity and a lot of my relationships have grown exponentially since I’ve been in the Pleasure Tribe.

I had training in masculine/feminine balance and relationships when I was really young, but I didn’t have the context to “walk the talk”.  Because the Pleasure Tribe and reaching my 30’s(probably) I now understand the things I learned a decade before and so much more.  If you’re interested there’s two days left to get the free content so join now: Here or Here.

The Red Tent Revival is changing the world.


Did You Have A Childhood Dream?


purposed (Photo credit: frances bell)

Did you have a dream as a child about what you’d do when you grew up?

Something vivid, something emotional, something vague?

I’m not talking about wanting to be a firefighter, or a writer or a ballerina.

I’m talking about what you express your depth, or heal the world, or share your strengths and purpose.

Was it something that made no sense, or seemed too far-fetched?

Was it something you buried or added rational ideas to?

Was it something you need to uncover or subtract from to even remember where it started, to remember what it was at it’s core?

I know that we all have a purpose here, and we all know it upon birth…it is jut that need to make it tangible that drives us to alter our dreams into something more realistic, more rational.

But at the core, our dreams really show us what our purpose is and if we dust it off and open our minds, we will be shown exactly how those childhood dreams are relevant just as they were back then…today.

Could you please, share with me your childhood dreams.  Maybe you don’t have a duster quite yet, maybe you remember a ton of different things, maybe you have only a vague hunch.  Share them…let’s uncover what we knew as children and let’s build a foundation to bring it into being today.

Likewise, if you’ve taken your childhood dreams(the deep star-filled dreams that are equal to a real purpose and a real intuitive spark, rather than a career path, or living in a certain place) please share that, and share the process that enabled you to embrace your dreams, and share what it looks like and feels like to bring your inner child into the now.

In the next blog post I’m going to share with you what my childhood dream was and how I’m bringing it into the now…

~~Keep Dreaming

On My Spiritual Journey…


Currently, my dreams are mostly getting away from me.

I’m taking short naps several time a day/night and not really doing a great job of dream journaling.

Due to the fact that I’m not waking up early, I am missing out on my yoga practice at times… I’m just in a habit of doing yoga at a certain time.

What I am doing however…is a lot of chanting.  Rediscovering some of my favorite Kundalini Yogi musicians and shabds is really incredibly helpful for me.   This music is healing me and bringing balance back to my life.

Chanting is so simple and powerful, and anyone can be moved by music.  No matter your body type or the kind of pain your trials you may be facing.  This music gives me the chills and gets me activated.

Another thing that I’m really connecting to is the community aspect.  How healing it is to be in an inspiring community, even briefly.

I’m not capable of going to this particular event this year, but I would so love to…I am certainly planning to attend one of the others in the future.  However, if you can attend I can help you get a discount.   Send me a message, you may even be able to win a free ticket.


Ecstatic Days

June 21, 2010*****Me mirroring my environment*****

Yesterday was a day of fruit buying.  In Blythe, these are the days I enjoy most…shopping days.  My cache including 30 fresh-picked local grapefruit for $6 and they were huge, a ton of peaches, a good bunch of mangos at 3 for .99 cents, about 4 watermelons, 1 cantaloupe, some cilantro for the bunny rabbits, fresh okra, a 5 pound bag of carrots, romaine, a few red bell peppers and a tomato… lfrv fruitarian style is back on!  This morning I had my favorite breakfast…watermelon of course.  I did a lot of writing and took on a submitting challenge, I also did a poetry prompt and I’ve talked to a lot of people about the intentional community/co-op/health fair/fundraising stuff.

Raa and I also came up with a new ecstatic relationship rule.  From now on if one of us needs to fart we have to rub our butt against the other person and fart on each other… that way farting is an inclusive activity, and everyone gets to share in the experience! It was a very pleasant experience each time we did it, and I’m sure I had one of those laughing experiences when I sound like a hog… as my daughter likes to call me.  *snort snort*

Local Grapefruit

June 19, 2010 *******Me merging with the universe*******

Today I woke up kinda early.  I ate a cucumber salad with fresh grapefruit juice as the dressing, it was awesome!  I think I did some writing, then my daughter and I went outside, it was nice out and around 7am when we went outside.  We played on her bike and it was great exercise for me, it forced me to do yoga to readjust my pregnant body.  We played in the seashells and beautiful quartz outside at the doorway, and I took some pictures of my belly on my phone.  We had a great talk too, about the sun and rocks and nature in general.  We came back inside and did more talking, drinking water, playing a little.  I cleaned a little and we were hungry so I sliced two red bell peppers and put eggs inside them and put them in our cooker.  I sliced up some onion too and threw that in.  I was so happy about how simple of a meal it was, and how inexpensive and how I wouldn’t have to use oil to cook it that I started taking pictures of it and planning to write about it.  I prefer being vegan and I prefer being raw, but I feel happy with myself, when I make sure I eat enough and eat things that make me feel functional, especially in this town where much produce is overpriced, under supplied and not ripe.  I can go days being a fruitarian, but I feel great being someone who doesn’t need to put seasonings on my food, and eating economically and satisfying food.  The fact that I don’t have to use many dishes or make much of a mess helps too.  Later I did more writing, a great leg and foot massage and put my daughter to sleep for a nap.  There is nothing too excitingly amazing going on, except life… that I am content, eager for more and enjoying the simplest pleasures… it is early still, but it has been a very ecstatic day, and the mindset is there to stay, so I can’t wait to see what else this day promises.

[Disclaimer: I decided to delete the food pictures because.  I don’t encourage eating eggs or any animals or animal secretions, and the picture disgusted me.  When I lived in Blythe, CA(never go there, ever) I was desperate and family brought me food because there was such a low variety there.  After I ate the eggs, I couldn’t eat eggs anymore.  It made me feel that bad.  I don’t want to appear to support this and I don’t want the pictures on my page any more.]

March 8, 2010 *******Me melting into pregnancy*******

Today I was very domestic. I woke up and did some journaling and then went and played with my daughter. We noticed how playful she was so we took her to the park. I was very prepared and brought notebooks, bananas, apples, bread, and my daughter’s cup. My mate told me that his dreams have become revelations, I congratulate him on that… it’s very exciting.