Starting Over Wtih My 30 Day Challenge…

So, I attempted to start a 30 day low fat raw vegan(lfrv) challenge on the 4th of July…apparently, I wasn’t really ready. I suppose, the experience of eating lfrv for months at a time wasn’t really enough for me to jump back in it. Although I’ve been eating mostly (70-80%) lfrv for months now, in a sense I really had to start all the way back over.

I’ve also started over with my dream journeying. I’ve been re-reading the book “Dreams are Letters From the Soul” by Connie Kaplan and I joined her online dream circle. I’ve had powerful dreams all my life and a very similar “mystic’s disease” as Connie Kaplan explains in her book. I’ve had this book for about 3 years and I have read passages, chapters and sections of the book many times over and the whole book at least twice. I’m almost done with my third go-round.

This time, I really see where I veered off the path. This time, I really see what the purpose of it is, what it all really means to me. I had a lot of self-importance before. It was self-importance to help people, but it was still self-importance and based in pleasing my ego. I come at this with a very different outlook now, but I still have to focus on not wanting to control or attach myself to outcomes.

The third thing I’m starting over with is my business goals. Years and years ago I came up with business proposals, marketing strategies and I even went so far as to get clients and start programs. Usually my thing has been to offer free trial periods and to work for donations.  I have however, gotten caught up in the philosophy and image of  consumerism, the economy, etc.  Most of my working life, my adult life, started as the American economy took its first plummet towards the disorder we have right now.   I’m redefining my goals of having a sustainable small business that can eventually travel with me.

Last, I’m redefining my family relationship.  I’m committing to non-violent communication and finding ways to bridge gaps in communication within my immediate and extended family.  I’ve realized a lot of pent up frustrations, mis-communication and pride has kept a lot of relationships in my family on an unsteady decline and I’m moving to fix those things in the next 30 days.

Also, this blog is my way of nurturing and prioritizing my goals for myself.  Through this transparency and regularity I’ll be able to really see the influences on success, outcomes and decisions I make.  Likewise, through my diet, I am able to see the influence my physical health has on the mental, emotional, spiritual, social, etc. There is so much more to come.

Ecstatic Days

June 21, 2010*****Me mirroring my environment*****

Yesterday was a day of fruit buying.  In Blythe, these are the days I enjoy most…shopping days.  My cache including 30 fresh-picked local grapefruit for $6 and they were huge, a ton of peaches, a good bunch of mangos at 3 for .99 cents, about 4 watermelons, 1 cantaloupe, some cilantro for the bunny rabbits, fresh okra, a 5 pound bag of carrots, romaine, a few red bell peppers and a tomato… lfrv fruitarian style is back on!  This morning I had my favorite breakfast…watermelon of course.  I did a lot of writing and took on a submitting challenge, I also did a poetry prompt and I’ve talked to a lot of people about the intentional community/co-op/health fair/fundraising stuff.

Raa and I also came up with a new ecstatic relationship rule.  From now on if one of us needs to fart we have to rub our butt against the other person and fart on each other… that way farting is an inclusive activity, and everyone gets to share in the experience! It was a very pleasant experience each time we did it, and I’m sure I had one of those laughing experiences when I sound like a hog… as my daughter likes to call me.  *snort snort*

Local Grapefruit

June 19, 2010 *******Me merging with the universe*******

Today I woke up kinda early.  I ate a cucumber salad with fresh grapefruit juice as the dressing, it was awesome!  I think I did some writing, then my daughter and I went outside, it was nice out and around 7am when we went outside.  We played on her bike and it was great exercise for me, it forced me to do yoga to readjust my pregnant body.  We played in the seashells and beautiful quartz outside at the doorway, and I took some pictures of my belly on my phone.  We had a great talk too, about the sun and rocks and nature in general.  We came back inside and did more talking, drinking water, playing a little.  I cleaned a little and we were hungry so I sliced two red bell peppers and put eggs inside them and put them in our cooker.  I sliced up some onion too and threw that in.  I was so happy about how simple of a meal it was, and how inexpensive and how I wouldn’t have to use oil to cook it that I started taking pictures of it and planning to write about it.  I prefer being vegan and I prefer being raw, but I feel happy with myself, when I make sure I eat enough and eat things that make me feel functional, especially in this town where much produce is overpriced, under supplied and not ripe.  I can go days being a fruitarian, but I feel great being someone who doesn’t need to put seasonings on my food, and eating economically and satisfying food.  The fact that I don’t have to use many dishes or make much of a mess helps too.  Later I did more writing, a great leg and foot massage and put my daughter to sleep for a nap.  There is nothing too excitingly amazing going on, except life… that I am content, eager for more and enjoying the simplest pleasures… it is early still, but it has been a very ecstatic day, and the mindset is there to stay, so I can’t wait to see what else this day promises.

[Disclaimer: I decided to delete the food pictures because.  I don’t encourage eating eggs or any animals or animal secretions, and the picture disgusted me.  When I lived in Blythe, CA(never go there, ever) I was desperate and family brought me food because there was such a low variety there.  After I ate the eggs, I couldn’t eat eggs anymore.  It made me feel that bad.  I don’t want to appear to support this and I don’t want the pictures on my page any more.]

March 8, 2010 *******Me melting into pregnancy*******

Today I was very domestic. I woke up and did some journaling and then went and played with my daughter. We noticed how playful she was so we took her to the park. I was very prepared and brought notebooks, bananas, apples, bread, and my daughter’s cup. My mate told me that his dreams have become revelations, I congratulate him on that… it’s very exciting.