Updates and Goals to Close the Gap of Time!

Wow, it’s been forever!

I’m not sure where to start, but something called me back to this blog! It’s been calling for awhile but I finally answered.  I’ve been through a ton since I last posted.  I guess I have some refining to do, because although a lot of the things I wrote about here are still relevant there is a different vibe and different level of interest and commitment.

If anyone is still reading you’ll know what I mean soon, because I’m going to be using this blog to help me create my creative projects.  I have been working on my other two websites and they’ve been kicking my butt, but it’s time to jump back into the creativity pool and dive deep.

My goals for this year are:

  • To finish the project called Featherstory (a book, at the least, might also record it)
  • To finish the project called The Aniweda Dream (not the blog, this will never be finished)
  • To create tons of spoken word
  • To create my one-woman-show
  • To have one reviewable/critique-ready ‘something’ every week
  • To supplement my writing by delving back into dance
  • To supplement my writing and dance by delving back into music
  • To supplement my writing, dance and music by trying my hand at mandalas, paper crafts and fiber arts
  • To consume a whole lot of art…this has never been an issue for me anyway!
  • To get deeper into dreaming!

On Feb. 14th I will do something special to commemorate and log this new commitment to creativity!


Baby Steps of An Uncomfortable Truth On Class, Culture & Ethnicity

Another truly defining inspiration for this blog was race, culture and ethnicity. I have a view that I rarely if ever have seen expressed elsewhere. This is the purpose of blogging for me, to express things I rarely if ever see expressed or feel comfortable expressing elsewhere…and yet my main inspiration for blogging is something I have not really delved into. I’ve barely introduced the topic and so here I will in baby steps get started on this idea.

Step 1: Awareness
I am aware that mainstream U.S. dreams and ideas about race, culture and ethnicity seriously disturbs me.

I am aware that the media and commercialism in no way represents reality or even positivity or authenticity in these respects, but I am not sure that people who spend a lot of time consuming and being mediated with these mainstream tools are quite as aware. I’m also painfully aware that children are not aware of the misrepresentation and disrespect for cultural, ethnic and racial diversity…I know because I remember exactly what it was like as a kid to hear mainstream views and to see mainstream visions in TV, magazines, movies, toys, everything. I created myself based on those ideas and struggled with forging my own authenticity in the face of it all.

I have also witnessed first-hand the damaged self-esteem and confusion, paranoia and delusion that these mindsets perpetuate. I’m also counter-attacking it all daily with my 4-year-old.  I’m not comfortable with the idea that this is just the way things are and I’m mining for expansive viewpoints and actions to take along the way to balance.  As I tackle this first step I will give heed to the numerous affects, attempts to articulate and next steps in multicultural living.

–Still Dreaming

Recent Dream Themes & Old Dream Connections

(This post was published prematurely, sorry if you read before the full version was completed.)

Lately my dreams have been very visual and also very atmospheric.  There is the presence of an entity, perhaps a dream teacher, perhaps a fellow dreamer.  I don’t know yet.  It has also been very focused on water, animals, and ships (on which people live and are traveling long distance or perhaps eternally traveling, see what I wrote about this) and neighborhoods that are enclosed.  It feels very much like their own dimensions.  Kinda like fiction stories. 

I have had very vivid dreams of whales that come right up to me and that I touch, and bears that come into my doorway and interact with me.  I’m sure there’ve been other animals too.  Strange to me is the bear presence.  I have never had a dream of a bear that I remember and this happened this week.  Coincidentally I read Snow White and Red Rose to my daughter and couldn’t wait to read about the bear.  I feel that this bear person has quite a message for where I am in my life or the world I am living in.  I will look for more clues on this.

Also things that used to feel like dreams which were very physical, feel more clear now.  The other types of dreams I’ve been having are very inebriating.  One of them is a melting and merging into some spiraling void.  It feels like I am locked into the revolution of the galaxy and all I can feel is the spinning.  This can last for a very, very long time. 

The other dream is usually connected to the internet or some work(karma yoga) that I feel I must do.  It literally feels like I’m enmeshed in the art of yoga.  Like I am that union.  Both of these dream-types are this way.  It reminds me completely of my first Aniweda Dream, which I have yet to find a way to sufficiently weave words around. 

The last dream I had like this was the same night I went into what I call the “Sacred Spiral” dream.  I was within the internet.  I know nothing about programming and coding, but I was within a code of my work on the internet.  What I’m building and what is to come, my ideas, my goals, my passions, my purpose.  I felt as if I was learning what I needed to do, as if I was being encoded with the scripts to carry out my work and not only was I learning this emotionally and mentally, I was also feeling it on my skin, in my bones, in my blood, with my organs, my electro-magnetic field…everything.

I remember doing a meditation before I went to bed.  I don’t really remember the meditation completely.   A friend of mine suggested asking Ancestors what I wanted and I was already in a meditative state when I began to ask for guidance on my true work in the “consensual world”.   Sometimes people ask for what they want and they don’t realize they have to be in a space to ask and truly open to receiving.  You have to be quiet and still, you almost certainly need to be in a meditative state.

I had gotten out of the meditative practice for a bit, but my oldest daughter has helped me to merge back into my stillness.  We do a guided meditation before bed.  I bring her to a beautiful garden(our current theme) and she finds flowers, waterfalls and then fairies, which lead her to her dream.   Inadvertently I end up in this meditation as well.

My daughter has always had the idea that if we touch we can go to a dream together, but if we don’t touch she could go to her dream by herself.  Sleep and dreaming has always been a thing for her, and I suppose, now that I type it, I see why, considering my dreaming journey.  When she turned 4 I felt such a mystical surge to our relationship.  It had always been there.  Being a co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding mom for about a year, and an extended milk-giver, the bed was a mystical place.  I felt so intuitively inclined in my relationship with my daughter and in motherhood, and it really gave me the freedom to accept my dreaming inclinations…motherhood that is, breastfeeding in particular.

However at age 4 something happened to me and connecting to my daughter on that level is awe-inspiring. I remember very, very vividly the dreams I had when I was her age, my thoughts, my entire life. I was very internal and she understands me in a way in which sometimes I think my inner child lives in her.

I wish I could explain all the nuances and find my purple journal that I used during that time, because I don’t have the same relationship with my younger daughter, but I am certain my daughter and I really did dream together in her first 2+ years, though I never said it to her.  Anyway, I don’t write or record my dreams nearly as much as I used to.   I don’t remember them as vividly and as long as I used to.  I am still grateful for my dreaming experiences and I feel they are still very powerful practices of spiritual development, they just aren’t as a big a part of my mystical experience these days. 

I think those sleeping dreams have bled into the waking ones and I am awake alot now, weaving them in perhaps?  We’ll see.  I intend on doing some dream experiments shortly and designating a dream journal that exists on paper(right now I use a file on the laptop) and delving back in to my dream stories. I’m also going to write out more about my big dream and the dreams and dream-types that I remember from the past, I hope you’ll come on this dream journey and I’d love to hear about your dreams and dreaming traditions.

–Still Dreaming


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Mother Earth Native American Festival

I love pow-wows and cultural festivals. If you’re in NY check this out this weekend! I hope to attend next year!

Shotgun Bo Rivers

This weekend Mother Earth drum will present their 8th annual Mother Earth Native American Festival and Powwow, with proceeds to go to local charities. “The last few yrs have just gotten to quiet” stated one patron to the powwow and insists that the community get involved. The Mother Earth Drum is asking local business and charities to help out with any volunteering that they can, as a business owner they are asking for some sponsorship’s in return a free pass for the owner and family for the weekend of festivities.

“Patricia “Waukea” MacLaury spoke with me yesterday saying “We (Mother Earth Drum) want to keep the Native American heritage in our community, and keep our community growing with us. it will be a wonderful weekend of native dancing, demonstrations, storytelling, and flute playing, and fun for all ages.

If you would like to help out in any way…

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