Excuse my absence, but in the last 26 days since I last posted almost everything has changed in my life…things are in limbo, but you know I kinda like it this way.
I’ve realized how many things I’ve been letting get away and where life lost its luster for me.
Intentionally I have been holding some things back from my blogging experience. Somethings that weighed heavy on my heart and greatly affected everything I did. I contemplated writing about it, but sometimes things are so fresh there is no appropriate angle to show it… I’m still kinda there… waiting for the new car scent to drift into familiarity.
I did the inevitable…I got on an airplane…I got on two airplanes, with two children under the age of 5, by myself, tried to carry several of our things and tried to be vegan, healthy and hydrated…I actually even tried to be calm and happy about it… yeah, I’m crazy.
I flew across the country and I am now visiting with my family. Just me and my girls. This is one of those extended visits that I love. I don’t like spending a few days in one place. I like to spend a month or two or…more. That is my tentative plan here as well. December was busy. I talked to more people in December than I probably talked to in the past 6 months…I also spent more time by myself than I have in about a year and a half.
I’ve had a lot of time to think, reevaluate and make some decisions about what I want in my life…what I believe is worth trying, what I believe life is all about. Last month, it was hard to imagine a non-chaotic, health supportive environment. I imagined all right, I dreamed, I wished, I hoped, I prayed, but it was hard… it’s not so hard anymore.
My 28th birthday is this upcoming Friday the 13th. I’m really excited because I was also born on Friday the 13th and 28 for some reason was an age I decided on when I was in elementary school as a guidepost. I decided that if I wasn’t in a certain place I would use this year to get there. Where is that place, what is that place, I was dreaming of? I’m trying to remember and I’m trying to make it real.
I missed blogging and I can’t wait to redefine this blog and my life, in general. May the technology gods spare me anymore disasters with phones, documents, computers and cameras…its been a rocky start already.